Mindset time… This has been something that I have really been working on. Money mindset, business mindset, success mindset and positive mindset. This weekend I had a light bulb moment.
I was listening to the most powerful women in network marketing a couple weekends ago and it was SO good. One huge thing stuck out. One of the presenters said instead of saying “I can’t” start to say I won’t replace of it. WHOA!
When you start to think about all the excuses you make regardless of where they come from and think about why you are making the excuse. Can you not really do it, you just can’t or is it more of you won’t and there is something holding you back from not committing.
Maybe that something holding you back is fear, laziness, lack of priority or obligation. Listen I get it. I say I can’t probably more than I should. When I was in high school and played sports we used to have to do pushups when we said I can’t. I mean saying, “I can’t make that shot, or I can’t score a 9.0 on the balance beam” was something lame to say if you apply this principle. What I was really telling myself was I won’t. Something in my mindset was blocking me from hitting that shot or getting that 9.0. That something was ME, and my thinking.
This last week I have been thinking about my goals for the next 90 days and all the things I would love to accomplish in my vision. Even in my daily life when ever I have thought I can’t do x <make it in time, make time for prospecting, asking someone a question, reaching out to a new prospect> I say to myself YOU CAN AMANDA, you just won’t. It has really been helping me to identify WHY won’t I? Why do I think I can’t? What’s holding me back from accomplishing it?
What are somethings that you say I can’t to that really, it’s just that you won’t for some reason? Maybe it’s the bullshit stories you tell yourself that you can’t/won’t or maybe it’s. Maybe it’s fear? If it’s fear, then I would love to ask where that fear is coming from?
Here are some tips that help me overcome my I can’t/I won’t and turn them into I can’s and I will
- Evaluate why you are saying I can’t. Can you really not do the task at hand or do you just not want to, and you are using I can’t ask an excuse? I personally feel like I use “I can’t” as an excuse to not have to do things more often than really not being able to do something.
- Look a little deeper. Do you just not care to do the task and you are using can’t as an excuse? If that is the case you need to just politely say you don’t want to, you don’t have time for it or it doesn’t fit with in your vision right now and so it’s not something you can commit to. It’s better to be up front and not commit to something you feel you are obligated to, then to commit and cancel last minute because you “can’t” go <insert lame excuse here>
- Will the task at hand move you closer to your goals or vision? If you answered yes, then you really need to look at your goals and figure out how to move forward. Is it a skill you need to learn, something you need to do research on or is there a step in between what you think you “can’t” do for you to be able to execute successfully?
- If you think or say you can’t is it because you are scared? If your cant’s are coming from a place of fear you really need to look and address this fear and overcome it when you recognize what and where it stems from. Ex: I can’t public speak. That isn’t really the truth that’s the story you are telling yourself because a. you are nervous or fearful or b. maybe you had a time in life growing up that you raised your hand said the wrong thing in class and were made fun of (hello bullshit story you took on as the truth and made a story you now hold to be true for life) Those cant’s will be the hardest to overcome but will be the most satisfying to turn into cans
- Just stop, stop limiting what you can and can’t do before you even start. Remember mindset is so important. What we tell ourselves we believe. So start telling your self you can or start having different self-talk. Instead of staying I can’t public speak because I suck, start to tell yourself I am the best at public speaking. I need to practice more so I can be even better. Shoot, start telling yourself you are a world-renowned public speaker and you speak at leadership retreats and summits. Before you know if you will be!
If you can relate share this with a teammate, upline, downline or friend that might need a little kick in the pants because it’s not that she can’t but for some reason she won’t.