We grow up and for some reason we want to be liked and accepted so badly that by the time we are an adult we really care so much about what people think. (side note- if you are one of those people that doesn’t then WHOA baby kudos to you!) As we age we often take on the beliefs and opinions of things sway us or worst we take them on as our own.
WHY? Why do we let what others think sway our opinion or decision? We wouldn’t let someone just take over a big decision like buying a car so why do we on smaller choices? I mean I know I would never let them finance a car in my name and I would never just drive off in the car without deciding I wanted and needed it. So why on earth do we let it happen on small decisions and opinions? Are we nervous if we don’t conform they won’t like us.
Have you seen the movie How To Be Single? In the movie one of the girls is learning to be independent and making and embracing her own decisions. She realized she doesn’t even know how she likes to eat her eggs. She always just would eat her eggs how ever her boyfriend at the time ate them and took on their opinion and decision as her own. When she was single she realized, “holy shit, I don’t know how I LIKE to eat my eggs”. Once the realization happened she could then go on to discover other areas in her life that she hadn’t fully been true to herself. Why did she just not say this is how I like my eggs?
I mean that’s a small analogy but what do you do you in life because it’s convenient even though you may not actually like it or may not be happy doing it? Do you share a meal but you really wish you would have gotten the pancakes instead of shared the breakfast burrito? Do you not drink because you don’t want to offend the person you are with that isn’t drinking or do you tip toe around because you are afraid you won’t be liked for a decision or choice you have made in life recently?
I know I know the egg analogy it’s a weird one but really for me it was something I resonated with. I have always been a people pleaser. Maybe it’s the west coaster in me, maybe it was growing up the only child but I never wanted to ruffle feathers. EVER. I would just go along because for me it was easier to share the breakfast I didn’t really want than to make it a big deal. HELLO what was I doing? I was getting sold to on the daily of no fault but my own. I was one of those yes people that live their life full of obligation for fear of saying no would upset or hurt the feelings of another person. I was putting other people first. WHOA>
Here is another analogy, this time real life and I feel like so many will be able to relate. Who went to college because you were supposed to? You went because it was something that you NEEDED to do but not something that you wanted to do. Did you go because you were afraid of what others would think if you didn’t have a degree or did you go because that’s the picture of what life should be like, that’s what everyone was doing? Maybe you have always been an entrepreneur but its been suppressed by all the you are supposed to’s, need to and you are rolling with the punches of what people think you need to be. NO thanks! I have been there… Though I am proud I have a Masters degree, I am still working on paying down my student loans and besides having the degree and telling people I have it, I don’t feel like it is relevant for what I am doing these days. We flounder so often between what our soul is telling us and what we “should” be doing to please those around us that we just end up wasting time and money. Did I go because I was afraid of what they will think or did I got because that’s the picture of what life should be like?
Just recently, I decided to make decisions for me. I finally realized it was my life why in the heck was I letting other people decide what I want. Why was I taking on their vision as my own? Well my friends. Until you realize and have that moment of holy shit what am I doing moment you just don’t realize you are letting most things in your life be decided for you. Once you notice, you notice on all fronts and every aspect that something is not right and you need to make a change. Change… can’ you dig? If you don’t like something make a change! The big thing for me is I think for a minute I lost myself, my identity, and my vision and dreams. If you hold strong to your purpose, what you are put here to do there will never come a time where you question anything. If you are doing what sets your soul on fire and what your are passionate about it doesn’t really matter what they think! If you feel good, can rest your head and thoughts at night it doesn’t really matter what they think! Do you…. and stop doing for others for fear of what they will think.
If you have noticed a theme lately.. it’s so important to know what is important to you, what are things you aren’t willing to negotiate on and what are you exchanging for your choice or decision. Are you decisive? Do you know what you love or what you like? What is your vision? What are you willing to sacrifice for success? What are you willing to trade for your time or your money? These are all so important when looking at business, success, going after what you want, and looking at if it is what you want and what someone wants for you! Knowing these things also will allow you to really stand in conviction for what you want and it won’t matter what others think.